so in all of this hullabaloo...

          ... it seems both of us forgot about proper introductions! 

          welcome to the blog!!! i'm luke ellard. (for more info look that way ---> and/or check out my last blog) yes, savanna and i go to the same school, we also go to the same church. no we aren't dating, but we are two friends who share a passion for Jesus Christ. i approached (texted) her at the end of last summer proposing the concept of a Christian oriented blog. both of us talked about all of these ideas and how we would like to write a book one day discussing our faith and such, so i thought in the meantime why not blog about it? and voila, here we are! as you can probably tell already, we will be posting devotionals/lessons and the like frequently on here, though we might also do a short personal blog updating on what's going on in our lives as well. and from time to time we might even have some guest bloggers, which would be totally rad. i think i speak for both savanna and i in asking that if you would, please pray for both of us and this blog. God only knows what may or may not come out of this but whatever happens, we are trusting in Him. if you would like to contact us our e-mail is:

lukeandsavanna@gmail.com

i'm also on facebook, myspace (though i never use it), twitter, youtube, and i have my own personal website.

needless to say i am interwebbed out.

if anyone has prayer requests or would like to learn more about Jesus and our purpose for this blog feel free to contact both of us. our prayer is that, if the Lord will it, this blog will reach at least one lost person out there and maybe help a few wandering children of God as well. anything is possible through/with Christ.

thank you everyone and please spread the word! God bless!

-- luke

arachibutyrophobia.

August 24, 2009. It was a beautiful day in Gulf Shores, Alabama. The rising sun tinged the condos along the coast a fetching shade of electric pink, and glittered brilliant white across the water, which was unusually clear--especially since a storm had just rolled through the day before. The sky was that perfect shade of blue that just evokes happiness. There were fluffy white (harmless) clouds low on the horizon. The sand was cold and damp beneath my feet. Sam was standing next to me, and we were chatting animatedly about how excited we were.

We were gonna get baptized today. In the Gulf of Mexico. With the fish, and the dolphins, and the mermaids, and the little clumps of seaweed, and the fish poop, and the jellyfish. With the oysters and their pearls, and the sparkling shards of shell that glittered just beneath the sand. We briefly entertained the idea of sharks, but those fears were put to rest when we saw some dolphins swimming along fairly close to the beach. If there were sharks, Flipper would save us.

But yeah, the ocean. I was pumped. Maybe I read too far into it, but I saw something very significant about the salt of the earth being baptized in salt.

And then we spotted them. The stingrays, I mean. There were flapping about lazily a few yards from where we were standing.

We looked at each other.

We looked at the stingrays.

And then we looked at each other again.

"I'm not getting in that water," we said in almost perfect unison.

And as we planned a raincheck on the baptism without a second thought, the stingrays continued flopping around without a care. I imagined them feeling pretty pleased with themselves. I think I might have addressed them directly to express my distaste.

The funny thing was, as we prepared to approach the college minister about rescheduling the baptism, I wasn't really that upset. I really didn't want to go into that water.

I was scared. Stingrays killed Steve Irwin; I had every right to be scared.

But you know, it amazes me that fear has that kind of power over us. Baptism is a public symbol of your commitment to Christ, and me and Sam had this amazing opportunity to get baptized in the ocean! That's not something a lot of folks get to do.

We were willing to throw it all away, because we were scared. On the day we were declaring our dedication to follow God, we were too afraid to follow Him into stingray-infested waters. Tell me... what power do two tiny little stingrays have over the Creator and Savior of the entire universe?

We're gonna play a little game. I found a couple of great Bible verses, and I'm gonna customize them to suit my situation a little better. If you're dealin with fear, you should try it. It's super hokey, but it works. It puts me at ease (and with a ridiculous situation like stingray woes, it's good for a laugh too).

Fear of man stingrays will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.
--Proverbs 29:25

He [Jesus] replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and the waves stingrays, and it was completely calm.
--Matthew 8:26

We stayed on the beach for a few more minutes, anxiously watching the stingrays and hoping they'd wander back into deeper waters where we couldn't see them. Then we'd be all good. Out of sight, out of mind, after all. Slowly people trickled down to the shore to check them out (I bet the darn stingrays were lovin this attention), and after a few minutes almost all 100-something of us Temple Tech beach retreat kids were clumped on the shore, staring at the stingrays and wondering what was gonna happen next. People were snapping pictures of them left and right.

Then one brave soul (I'm not really sure who it was) sauntered into the water. He got right up close to the stingrays (to the sound of audible gasps from his audience), knelt down, and plucked them out of the water with an amused expression on his face.

Cardboard.

The "stingrays" were two squares of cardboard that had been soaking in the water all night, which leant them their flippy stingray look.

I laughed and felt like a total moron for a while.

Me, Sam, and Lynnzie got baptized that morning. It was a beautiful day to get baptized, and to get hugs from warm, dry friends who watched us get dunked, and to be immersed in the Holy Spirit.

But the stingrays didn't leave my mind. I thought about them all the way home. It was funny, yeah... but it make me realize that I'm such a coward. I was afraid of some cardboard. I was going to let some cardboard stop me from professing my faith to everybody on that beach. God was teaching me something that morning.

Fear is crippling. It will paralyze you, shock you, kill you. It'll keep you standing still. It'll keep you on the shore when God is waiting in the water.

The thing is... that thing you're scared of? It's not what it looks like. Compared to the might and power of our Almighty God, it's just some cardboard flopping around in the water.

--SaVanna

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
--John 14:27

running

the water was warm and deep, especially for a six-year-old. what was going through my head, i’m not exactly sure. even at that young of an age i knew the stories, i knew the facts. hell was scary, God was fantastical, sin was bad, and i liked orange candy.

not much changed for a few years.

fast forward to puberty. my family moved to a new town and joined a new church. despite being afflicted with an exceptional obsession with band and an advanced case of awkwardness (which i’m not entirely certain i have been fully cured of), i somehow managed to nudge my way into the church kids group. this is how it was. disciple now events, wednesday night youth activities, and youth choir filled my time at church. as i grew i began to understand more about what i had decided on years ago. God was great, He was good, and we thanked Him for our food. i prayed for this, he would answer that. hell was still scary and to fit in you needed to listen to country music.

i didn’t realize that my feet were standing in a children’s pool instead of an ocean of faith.

enter high school.

still awkward, still a church kid, still obsessed with band. add only black clothing and bands you’ve never heard of and you get a basic image. it’s interesting to see the affects of what you put into your body. my mind went to other places as i was introduced to new ideas and discoveries. through my own actions, i began to make non-existent wiggle room in a faith that was only a puddle deep. i still knew all the stories, i knew the lessons, i knew it all back and forth (or so i thought). i was one of those kids on wednesday nights jumping to the songs in front of the praise band. i knew how it all went. i went all through the motions.

and then

late teens come around and i’m far from the young child sitting in that warm baptism water. remember what i mentioned about how it’s interesting to see the affects of what you allow into your body? well i was full. full of apathy, full of my plans, full of doubt, full of self-hatred, full of worry, full of anger. i was so full i was empty. i ran from myself, my problems, and the One who was there in the beginning. i couldn’t accept myself let alone a Savior who’s unconditional love and grace was so ready to drench me.

and one wednesday night, i got up and left, and didn’t look back.

…

two years passed.

i decided that i knew better. i decided that i knew who i was. i judged without regard and thought only of myself. i built a house of cards on top of a foundation made of friends and school. everything was great. the One who created the universe became the butt of a joke, an old man in the sky. churchgoers were pricks and bigots, and i wanted nothing to do with them.

isn’t it interesting when the foundations we set up begin to show signs of wear? what about when one of the legs holding our own personal table of life suddenly collapses?

enter stage left: early 2009

my table of life suddenly lost a leg. and down came my house of cards as the table i set up teetered ever so slightly.

you know, it’s hard to build a house of cards on a leaning surface.

this was a dim period. the mistakes and bad choices all seemed to come back full circle. good times.

…

i remember the night well. alone in my dorm room, bottom bunk, i was finishing homework listening to an amazing band called sigur ros and a song came on. it wasn’t even remotely religious in any way, not to mention it was in icelandic. but something started tugging at me.

i felt it.

i looked up at my bookshelf. nudged among theoretical physics books and fantasy novels was a thick burgundy, leather-bound book. picking it up and flipping through it, i stumbled across notes written from years ago. a passage was written down.

Matthew 5:1-12
“Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying:
‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.’”

i knew the stories, the lessons, the songs, the notes, when to stand and sit. i knew how to do it all but i had no idea. i was reminded of a young boy sitting in the warm water in an old church. i was reminded of what should have mattered, of who i should have wanted to be. the passage is not the typical “moment of realization” set of verses, but something about the music, the setting. something was up. and i knew.

and i did.

if i was never saved before, i was then. i repented and rededicated myself to the One who made me and knows me better than i do.

you remember the parable about the lost son who takes his inheritance money and lives the “fast” life for a while but eventually ended up with the pigs? you remember how one day he swallowed his pride and came back to his father who met him with tears streaming down his face, embracing him, overjoyed that his lost son had come back home? remember how Jesus said that is how our Father is when his lost children come back home? yeah he wasn’t  joking.

for some reason beyond my understanding, He took me back.

i came tired and lonely and He took me back.

i came broken and confused and He took me back.

the same arms that created the universe were now holding me, not a cheap table i set up.

and i began to find that the Word that i had “known” was far more amazing than i had ever realized. this was the beginning of what i now can’t go a day without, a time with just me and my Lord in His Word. if you don’t do a quiet time, trust me, it’s one of the best things ever.

…

a few weeks passed and realized that i couldn’t go it alone anymore. i also realized that simply doing my own quiet time wasn’t enough. that was spiritual snacking, and i was malnourished. it was time to go public. it was time to go back to the place i had been avoiding. but i didn’t want to do it by myself.

but you know God is amazing, right? he provided exactly what i needed.

friends who love the Lord.

friends who encourage.

friends who took me to a wednesday night Bible study.

you know how they say that Christians can't go it alone? it’s true. we need each other for real. we need a church family and home. and what began as just a place on wednesdays turned into a real home.

fast forward to may 17, 2009.

i stood in a oversized robe with three other guys. two of which were some great friends of mine. one after the other, dunked in succession. it was my turn. i took off my glasses and walked toward the water. a thousand thoughts ran through my head right before i took my first step…

the water was cold and deep. they forgot to turn on the heater. i looked out into the nice, large sanctuary. i couldn’t see much without my glasses but i knew a lot of people were there that day. the pastor asked those who were family and friends of mine to stand. i could hear them stand up but i couldn’t see who. then i took a quick breath.

i know now that i don’t know everything. i realized that the arms of the Father are always open, waiting for His wandering children and the lost to come home. however, it's out decision to choose to follow through and decide. it's either our way, or God’s way. there is no middle ground.
the One who was fantastical became the Almighty Father. the Word was not a group of stories anymore, but a handbook for life. and i realized that i’ll never be perfect and i can’t make any promises, especially to God. i realized that away from Jesus, there really is nothing else out there for us.

however, after all that time one thing never changed.

 i still like orange candy.

                    

 -- luke

*****

i just ran into a few someone's today
someone's that i never really knew
and i used to think how i had them all so figured out

but no, none of it's true 'cause i never knew You
and now the truth of it is, is i wanna be like You
so hello, Good Friend, i wanna be next to You
for my head, for my heart, for what's true

so i'm burning the thoughts of the things that i once said
because You tore down the walls that the world has put inside my head
and i  just get sick of the things that we think, we think we know

and no, none of it's true 'cause i never knew You
and now the truth of it is, is i wanna be like You
so hello, Good Friend, I wanna be next to You
for my head, for my heart, for what's true

so take me and save me and change me and then make me
and embrace me and then brave my heart for You
no, no, 'cause I can't go on without You
and it's time for something new oh oh

and no, none of it's true 'cause i never knew You
and now the truth of it is, is i wanna be like You
so hello, Good Friend, I wanna be next to You
for my head, for my heart, for what's true

and as they strolled along
my heart broke out in song
from all the things and the thoughts and assumptions that i had wrong
so now i'll be on my way to make this claim
i'll make it famous in every way
i'll make it stay when I will say that...

oh no, none of it's true 'cause i never knew You
and now the truth of it is, is i wanna be like You
so hello, Good Friend, I wanna be next to You
for my head, for my heart, for what's true

- “never knew” by the rocket summer

the definition of me.

Remember the sufferings of Christ, the storms that were weathered... the crown that came from those sufferings which gave new radiance to the faith... All saints give testimony to the truth that without real effort, no one ever wins the crown.

--Thomas Becket

I first got saved when I was five years old. It happened one day while my mom was attempting to take a nap, and I was lying down a pile of blankets next to her bed keeping her from succeeding in that goal. She tells me we started talking about Jesus, and then I got saved. She even gets all misty-eyed when we talk about it. She says I went around writing "SaVanna is a chrischin" on every flat surface I could find for the next week.

For the next... oh, thirteen years or so, I coasted by on that old Baptist stand-by: "once saved, always saved." Yeah, I went to church, but not willingly. My parents pretty much had to drag me out of bed on Sunday mornings, and listen to me grumble all the way to the church house. And yeah, I was active in my youth group, but that was only because my friends were active in my youth group. I was a very socially motivated child.

The closer I got to that moment that all high school students pine for--graduation!--the further I fell from God. I vicariously ignored all the blaring neon signs that pointed straight to Him, chalking them up to well-timed coincidences. When the tumor on my Mom's ovaries up and vanished? Oh, that was freakin' awesome, but it wasn't God. When our house (on the Mississippi coast) was untouched by Hurricane Katrina? Well that's the good thing about having a house on a hill, even though our neighbors (also on hills) all had at least four inches of water in their houses. When the tumor in my sister's ear turned out to be a calcium deposit that looked like  a tumor? Boy, that was lucky. When my car miraculously swerved to the right when the driver's side (and consequently, MY BODY) was headed straight towards a flatbed truck? Well that's easy. When my car slid off of the ice and on the grass, that's when I was able to regain control of it. It was all me.

All of these blatantly obvious miracles pretty much meant nothing significant to me. I could find nothing that connected them all together; they were just... instances. Just things that happen to people. Just random sequences of events that had no meaning in relation to the others.

It all came to head a when I started dating this guy my senior year in high school. He was playin me and about ten gazillion other girls from the very start, and the relationship was doomed to failure before it even came to fruition. But I was blind to all of this because I was a typical girl and because it was my first "serious" relationship and because he bought me nice things and because he talked the talk. I had just recently lost thirty pounds and it was the first time in my life I was getting so much attention from the opposite sex and I was just basking in it. I thought I was hot stuff.

So me and this guy, we date for about three months. Those three months significantly loosened my moral standards in terms of what's appropriate and what's not. He encouraged me to lie and to cuss and to deny God, and I was just barely hanging on to my 'virgin' status. And the worst part is that I chose to be that way. He may have talked me into it, but in the end it was all me. I could have stopped myself, but I didn't. Back then I thought I was a strong person.

I didn't know just how frail I was.

The guy cheated on me. I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep for three or four nights after that, but I couldn't muster up the gonads to leave him. I should have left him. My family told me to leave him. My friends told me to leave him. Somewhere deep down, I knew that our relationship wasn't going to last.

But I didn't leave him. I gave him another chance, and at the time I thought I was being Christ-like and merciful, and I felt like a martyr and a hero for giving such a jerk a second chance with me. I was just being stupid. And he took advantage of me again. I still didn't leave him. It was becoming a vicious cycle, spiraling out of control, until I pulled out my last-ditch effort to make him love me: I had sex with him.

And things were okay between us for approximately a week, and then he started sneaking around again. Something inside of me snapped, or maybe something clicked. I wasn't sure what it was at the time. I know now that it was the first stirrings of Christ inside my heart. Courage. I left him, finally, in a not-so-Christlike manner (this was definitely before I stopped cussing)... but the worst was over. I felt like I could breathe again. I couldn't keep a smile off my face the next day, and I still wonder to this day why I didn't leave him sooner.

Then I started to feel empty again. I liked being single for about a day or two, and then it started to hurt again. I hate to sound cliche, but there was a God-shaped hole in my life and I was trying to stuff a boyfriend in it. I started hanging out with this guy from band, and flirting with him in fast-forward and doing whatever I could to get him to like me. And I could tell it make him uncomfortable and I knew that I was being stupid but I couldn't stop. I had become a monster. A man-eating, God-deprived, inconsiderate monster. He's a graceful guy, though, and he invited me to church and politely put an end to my madness. We're still friends. Somehow. And I'm very thankful for that.

So after about two weeks of a few of my friends from band talking me up to going to church, I finally caved and went to a Wednesday night service. They had told me it wasn't like a normal service, so I wasn't really sure what to expect. I drove up to the huge, menacing Temple Baptist Church, parked around back by the small wedding chapel where the college students met, took a deep breath, and got out of my car.

I was ushered in with a flock of other students, but I sat by myself until one of my friends with a tendency to run late joined me. It was dark inside, and quiet. People who talked were reprimanded. It was dark, but as I scanned the small ocean of faces I saw some bored, some thoughtful, some passionate, some tired. I was probably the only wide-eyed, frightened one in the whole building. The band started to play--pianos, and bongos, and acoustic guitar. The singer's voice was soft and reverent.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

I cried. Bawled, actually. I left everything in the church that night. I felt lighter than air and heavier than lead. Rededicating my life, though, was a slow process. I struggled with guilt over losing my virginity. I struggled with loneliness because I had been so involved with my ex-boyfriend that I hadn't really made very many friends. I struggled with school because I was tired and stressed and I couldn't sleep at night. My family was really supportive of me, though. They even bought me this little True Love Waits pamphlet called "When True Love Doesn't Wait." It was kind of hokey, talking about a second virginity in Christ.

I know I'll never regain my virginity, but I have regained my purity. God has forgiven me and I have finally forgiven myself, and since then I have been falling in love with my Savior more and more each day. It's like an adventure. I used to think my life was boring, but since I regained my faith I've realized that my life is my testimony. It's my story, and it's gonna touch people. That's not boring.

And yeah, I've got a lot of work to do. I'm imperfect and I sin daily, multiple times. And darn if I try not to, that's when I'm tempted the most. I still struggle with guilt, but I've never been happier in my life. I'm broke and clumsy and socially awkward, but when I feel God on me, around me, in me... I'm rich. I'm graceful. And I'm loved.

--SaVanna